Marguerite (ruca6) wrote,
Marguerite
ruca6

life is one big let-down

Does anyone ever have the feeling that no matter how much you drink, how many people you fuck, how many pills you pop...that things will never be ok? I always want someone when i dont have anyone, and when i do have someone, no matter how great they are, its never enough. When i dont have a boyfriend, all i do i think about what could be wrong with me and how to get into a stable relationship, and now that i have someone(hook-up, constant, boyfriend, insensitive pig...whatever you want to call them) im still lonely and bored and searching for someone who has a higher level of perfection than the current one. And its not like this is something that i enjoy doing. Like a cherished past time(it aint no sport fuckin). Im with this one guy whos pretty and has muscles and tattoos and talks dirty, another who reminds me of my first real boyfriend who bleaches his hair spends money on me like its nothing and holds doors open, and another who kisses me with a mouth clean enough to tonguekiss his mother. Theres the sensitive ones, the hardcore ones, the ones who want you to meet their mother, the ones who want to be your mother, the kinky, the confused, the shy, the tie-me-up-and-beat-me, the bankers with wives and children my age, and the normal ones with normal jobs conventional lifestyles who are really super nice to me and ultimately, bore the fucking hell out of me.
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